


I need to hug something

by Yunhisa



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Hand & Finger Kink, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Penetrative Sex, San is anxious, Size Kink, Smut, Soft Jeong Yunho, Somnophilia kinda, Thighs, but just a bit, horny emotional rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:08:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yunhisa/pseuds/Yunhisa
Summary: ATEEZ goes on tour. Pretty normal. Until San forgets to bring his precious Shiber, and everyone knows that San cannot sleep without hugging something.Hopefully he has Yunho as a roommate and he is willing to find ways to help.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Comments: 2
Kudos: 98





	I need to hug something

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!   
> Gosh, how many years since I've last written something... I hope my writing is still decent.  
> Please keep in a tiny part of your mind that English is not my first language. I beta proofed the work myself but there might still be mistakes and I'm sorry about that.  
> Otherwise, hope you enjoy!

Yunho is tired and San is whining yet again. It was not even a big deal at the beginning, but the older boy really begins to get annoyed by it. After a normal practice day, everyone is always dead tired. So now that they are on tour, they have to give everything – and more – on stage, and that is even more tiring. The first concerts were fine, all of them still had a lot of energy because they were allowed to rest for some time before the beginning of the tour. No promotion, almost no interview.

Their first two dates at Seoul went perfectly, all of them had so much fun on stage and Yunho had been delighted to find this sensation again. Being on stage generally makes him feel euphoric, multiplying every emotion by ten. However, the problems began when they left the country for their first concert abroad. They knew they would not be back until a few weeks, so they had to pack everything carefully. Each of them had been given a list to make sure they would not forget any essentials. Everything was supposed to be fine. However, it all began during this flight. At that time, Yunho had his earphones on, the volume of the music loud enough to muffle the sound of people speaking around him but still lulling him to sleep. And that was exactly what he wanted. Yunho had one of the worst sleeping patterns out of all the members and sleeping at that time during the flight would reduce the effect of the jetlag. He was dozing off when a sudden gasp right next to him startled him. He was still groggy – and annoyed – so he did not catch what San was babbling about immediately, the boy visibly panicked. He made out their leader’s words first when he turned his music off.

“Oh my god, San, it will be okay. Please, stop screaming, we’re not alone here.” He was faking a yell, in fact only whispering.

“No, no, no. You don’t understand”. San was definitely trying to keep down, but his voice was getting high-pitched and Yunho winced at that. It was even more difficult to understand him. “I can’t, hyung. I will not survive the tour, I won’t be able to sleep correctly, how do you want me to perform?”

“You’re a drama queen, San. Besides, you woke Yunho up, congratulations.” Hongjoong growled back at him. Hongjoong was always understanding when it came to the members panicking but preparing the tour had been putting so much stress on him, he could not help but blame San.

San stilled and briefly stopped talking when he heard that last statement, looking directly into Yunho’s eyes with his pleading ones.

“I’m sorry Yuyu…” and Yunho knew it was no good. San using that pet name was either joking – which he was definitely not right now – or desperate. At that moment, he seemed even more than desperate. Why were his lips trembling and eyes watering so much?

“What happened?” Yunho grumbled, ruffling his own brown hair.

San began to bite his nails out of stress, Yunho reflexively took this hand into his and pulled it away from San’s teeth, repeating his question quietly. Because he was still sleepy or not to stress San more than he already was, he did not know.

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…” San mumbled.” But I think I forgot to bring Shiber. I exercised until late the other night, so I only focused on their list when I had to pack. I can’t find it and I can’t even remember the moment I put it in my bag. And we can’t go back.”

Of course they could not go back. Asking their managers to go back to their dorms in Korea to get a plushie would probably get them into trouble. Yunho could already hear their scolding. The older boy tried to remember their packing session, since San and he packed at the same time. It was true that San had seemed exhausted, Yunho helped him through most of it. And he could not find a moment where San put Shiber into his bag. The thought made him frown.

“You know I can’t sleep without hugging something Yuyu.” Yunho now was certain San was close to sobbing loudly but was trying to refrain it since their leader still eyed him. “And if I don’t get sleep, I can’t perform. And oh my god, after how many days without sleeping do you die?” he suddenly squeaked, earning him a “shut up” from a sleepy Yeosang in the seat before them.

“San, you’re not going to die.” Yunho tried to talk him down. “You will sleep because the shows will drain you out.”

“No but like… I know that! But I won’t be able to sleep well. And I need sleep.”

Yunho really tried not to sigh. “I know San. But you said it yourself, we can’t go back.”. Yunho thought the conversation was over and after a few seconds he closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep again. That was until he heard San sniffle loudly and he got worried when he saw the boy had tried to repress it.

“San, is that stressing you that much?” Yunho asked as gently as he could after hushing Wooyoung who was trying to get to his best friend. San nodded weakly, shuffled in his seat, put his hood on and hid his face between his arms. It could have been adorable – and Yunho would have much preferred it to be – if San were not having one of the worst breakdowns Yunho had seen him have in a very long time. “Hey, you need to hug something to sleep, right?” he asked as quietly as before. San vigorously nodded again. “I’ll buy you a plushie once we land, okay?” San turned his head towards Yunho immediately 

“Really?” Yunho made a face again once he realised San almost screamed. “Yes, really,” he answered, “stop crying and think about something else now, it’ll be okay.” And the older boy could definitely not refuse what was probably the biggest hug San ever gave him. He patted his back a few times but let him hug him for as long as the younger needed. San eventually drew back, thanking him again, taking the tablet computer he had discarded earlier – probably when he realised Shiber was missing.

Don’t get him wrong, Yunho did keep his promise. Thankfully for him, the car that was supposed to pick them up as soon as they arrived had been late because it was stuck in the traffic. It gave everyone the time to roam about in the different types of shops, especially those luxury ones. Yunho had fled, trying to find some sort of souvenir shop, where he eventually found a teddy bear that was big enough to allow San to hug it correctly. Well, it was also damn expensive, Yunho had thought, but he’d rather do it and have a peaceful San as his roommate during the tour. Some of the members gave him looks about the big plastic bag he was carrying around when their car arrived. Apparently, only Hongjoong truly understood what it was about, Yunho saw him mouthing a “thank you” as they got to the hotel. San had not talked to him until they got into the room they shared.

“I’m sorry the others were all trying to know what it was, that’s embarrassing for you…” San apologized while lying on his bed.

“No worries, there you go, catch it.” Yunho chuckled after he threw the plushie in the plastic bag at San who had not been fast enough to catch it and got hit in his head. San whined a bit while Yunho unpacked an outfit for the night he would wear because the one he wore in the plane was stained by his sweat. 

The other members never questioned it again and when they reunited later on, they just talked with their manager about the schedule for the day after and the precautions they should take. Yunho could barely remember the details and knew that Seonghwa would hate him for asking about information they were given less than twelve hours before. But he was so tired he could feel his eyes closing. When he heard Hongjoong calling it a day immediately after their manager left, Yunho swore he could have kissed him. Apparently, all of them were in a similar state of we-are-conscious-but-sleeping-inside. 

When they made it to their room again, Yunho and San still decided to take another shower before going to bed, because they always felt this way when they travelled. There should have been no problem after that. Except there have been one, taking the form of Yunho being so used to being sleepy yet scrolling on his phone for hours that the boy felt he would not fall asleep. He, of course, complained – silently because San was already trying to find his sleeping position – and took his phone to check his notifications. He thought he would keep doing that until his mind would go blank on its own like most nights. It proved to work and when Yunho felt himself drifting off to sleep, he extended his hand to switch off the light, but his hand froze mid-hair when he heard San. The younger had not stopped moving but Yunho’s mind had apparently decided to ignore the ruffling of his sheets. He turned to see San’s back and Yunho didn’t know if he had seen that or if he had begun to hallucinate but he could swear the figure of his friend had been trembling.

“San, are you crying?” Yunho asked, his voice deep from sleepiness.

The trembling apparently ceased for a moment, before San answered in a – way too – composed voice that no, he was not crying. And Yunho did not have the energy to dig deeper if San was not helping, so he did switch off the light and nuzzled up against his pillow until he found a decent position. But now that he was not focused on his phone, he could clearly hear his roommate shifting in his bed and even though he could hear that San was trying to make as little noise as possible, it prevented him from falling asleep. He tried to close his eyes and think about nothing. When he turned towards San’s bed to ask what it was all about, he gasped loudly and a broken cry escaped his mouth, because San was standing just before his bed.

“Holy fuck, San, you scared the hell out of me.” Yunho whispered as calmly as possible, his hand dramatically placed above his heart.”

“I’m sorry Yuyu…”

Oh god. Here they were again?

“I’m sorry, I love the teddy, I really do, but it doesn’t work.”

Yeah, here they were again.

“Is it too small?” Yunho tried. “I’m sorry, I tried to pick something around the same size as your other plushies, I might have gotten it wr—” but San cut him short.

“Oh no !” he almost seemed to panic. “It’s not that, it’s truly… theoretically perfect.” And despite the darkness, Yunho could see his gaze fall and he had to concentrate to hear the rest because the words were just whispered. “But it does not smell like… no it just doesn’t feel like home.”

San just went silent, eyes on the floor. Yunho had no idea what to do now. He was thinking he could not be sleepier, and his hazy mind was in no way able to think of other solutions. 

“Maybe take one of your shirts and put it on it? It may still somehow smell like the dorm?”

San did not even answer that, he just shifted a bit until Yunho could make out the plushie on the edge of San’s bed, wrapped in a loose tee-shirt. Yunho had no idea when San had done that.

“Ow well…” Yunho mumbled. “You want me to lend you one of mine? There are some I haven’t worn in a long time so they should not smell like my perfume.” And San once again did not answer. That made Yunho slightly annoyed, even though he knew that was mostly because he needed to get some sleep. The pout and sorry look on San’s face would definitely never make him annoyed or angry in other situations. “What do you want me to do San?” he regretted his choice of words the exact second they came out of his mouth when he saw San curl up a bit, avoiding his glance even more. He quickly added “Like, how can I help?”

“Can we cuddle?” Yunho felt really grateful he had a good hearing because San whispered it in such a way, he should not even have been able to hear it. “I— I won’t move. I promise, I’ll stay still.”

Usually, Yunho would cuddle with San any time of the day, whenever the younger would ask him. He would even cuddle with him at night before they went to sleep if San   
felt distressed. But San had never made a move to sleep with him before, because his plushies were _more_ than enough – Yunho had stopped counting how many of these there were in their room. And San was obviously feeling very awkward for asking that. But of course, he didn’t have any plushie at that moment.

“Of course, come here.”

Yunho scooted over a bit in his single bed, pushing the comforter to allow San to get in the bed just next to him. For a second, Yunho wondered how they would both fit because he was not very thin himself. However, San apparently had the solution. He let Yunho lay on his back entirely and pressed himself on his side to him, carefully spreading his left arm and his left leg over Yunho. He then rested his head over Yunho’s arm.

“I’m not moving, I promise I’m not.” He muttered, fisting Yunho’s shirt.

“I know you’re not” Yunho said, his hand finding San’s and thumbing at it in what he wished was a soothing motion. “Get some sleep, San. You’re okay.”

“Thanks.” San yawned and pressed closer – was it even possible – to Yunho. “Thank you so much Yunho.” And Yunho slightly hummed before he could feel San’s heartbeat go back to a normal pace again and lulling him to sleep.

The situation stayed the same. San had tried to sleep in his bed in the various hotels their company booked for them around the world. It had been useless, resulting in San always coming back to Yunho waiting for him – because he once fell asleep before San could sneak under his cover, that had woken him up and he had hated it. Around their last dates, San would only try to sleep alone with the plushie Yunho gifted him for around ten minutes before giving up.

Yunho would sincerely had preferred if San could join him directly when they both decided they’d go to bed. And it would probably had been easier for San too. The thing was that San coping with stress was a pretty unique type of San, one that Yunho realised he had never met before.

At first, Yunho had thought the lack of sleep, the stress and the adrenaline of the stage were giving San a fever. He had first woken up to a very sweaty San clutching at his shirt, trembling and visibly trying to breathe correctly. Yunho had been taken aback – it was three in the morning, how was he supposed to have reacted – but it had gotten worse when he had realised that San was not feverish. When San’s eyes had met his, Yunho could only see pure panic and he couldn’t immediately get _why_.

“Hey, San, is everything al–” Yunho’s sentence had died in his throat when he had tried to shuffle around a bit to face San and he had felt it against his hip.

“I’m sorry, I was just waiting for it to go away, I’m so sorry Yuyu, I don’t know why—” San had blabbered with teary eyes. That was when Yunho had realised that San had been fisting at his shirt to try and ground himself, and that if his leg had been wrapped so tight around Yunho’s it was to prevent himself from actually humping Yunho’s hip. Because San had apparently popped out a boner out of nowhere, in the middle of the night.

“Did you really…” Yunho’s brain was not functioning correctly, and he had been really afraid to misinterpret what could only be an erection against him.

“I’m telling you; I don’t know.” San almost sobbed. “It keeps happening anytime of the day, I can’t control it, I’m messed up, I’m so messed up.” San downright broke down, muttering about how gross he was and how messed up his body and brain were.

If Yunho had thought that moving was a bad option, he sure did not care anymore once he heard San trying to muffle his crying and felt his tears falling on the side of his shirt. He shuffled a bit, ignoring San’s gasp as he pushed himself back on the headboard, closed his arms under the ones of his friend and pulled him close. Yunho cradled him as closely as he could, his frame surrounding a sobbing San almost entirely, his left hand thumbing at his cheek to prevent the tears from falling down. He shushed him quietly until San’s sobs were almost inaudible and his breathing came back closer to normal.

When San had tried to talk, Yunho had been quick to tut him but to no avail. “P—Please don’t hate me, please, I sw—swear it was not on p—purpose.” Immediately, Yunho cupped San’s face which was buried in his tee-shirt. “San, hey, San, look at me.” He tried, but San’s sobs intensified again and resisted Yunho’s fingers which were trying to bring his face up. “Hey, Sannie, sweetheart…” Yunho was now definitely trying to coax San into listening to him, even though he had never tried the pet name before in this type of situation. However, it somehow seemed to work, the pressure San exerted on his chest diminished. “Can you look at me Sannie, please?” When Yunho tried to pull his chin up a bit, San didn’t resist, even though his eyes were still not meeting Yunho’s.

Yunho would probably have been annoyed in other circumstances, but San crying had him wide awake and he wasn’t sure he could fall back asleep if his mind knew San was not at ease. Or even asleep. He carefully cupped San’s cheeks with both of his hands – and realised how little San’s head was… or how big his hands were – and continued sweeping off the tears for a moment, barely even touching San’s skin, as if he were afraid to break him. He insisted when he felt San relaxing a bit and leaning into his left hand. “Sannie, eyes up please ?” And when San’s eyes met his, the younger seems to panic yet again, opening his mouth, probably to apologize, but Yunho shushed him a bit more authoritatively, not letting him look away. “I’m not mad. You’re not in trouble. You’re not messed up. I don’t hate you, San. I wouldn’t be able to hate you even if I tried, and I don’t even want that, okay?”

“You don’t? You sure you don’t?” San hiccupped between his sobs that had miraculously calmed down. Yunho nodded slowly and smiled the best he could. “Can I hug you Yuyu? Please.” San didn’t have the time to do grabby hands at Yunho before he was pulled and held tight against the other’s body, his face in Yunho’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent of whatever it was Yunho smelled at night and was strongly comforting for San.

“You try to sleep, okay?” San heard Yunho whisper. “What about you?” he asked, acknowledging that Yunho held him in a position San could definitely fall asleep in, but the other boy was just sitting, his back against the headboard, not even against the soft cushion the hotel provided. “I’ll be fine, get some sleep. You’re okay Sannie.” And before San could protest, he feels Yunho’s big hand patting his hair ever so softly, his other one gently rubbing his back. He had forgotten his problem immediately, somehow as if he had never had this erection, as if his sleeping schedule were not messed up, as if everything were alright. If he were not so tired, he would have probably cried at how Yunho felt like home. Just like he needed it. San fell asleep like that, Yunho had some trouble shuffling to fall asleep too but he eventually did and thanked all kinds of divinity the day after was a rehearsal day.

  
The thing was that it did not happen once. Yunho had thought San had exaggerated when he had told him it happened to him any time of the day. Turned out the younger did not. Yunho paid special attention to San, knowing how hard it was for him to sleep correctly. Seonghwa was a bit concerned about it but Hongjoong was so overwhelmed by everything that their two hyungs could not really be extra present just for one of them.

This is when Yunho began to notice it. San suddenly shuffling in his seat, just squirming while they were listening to instructions, taking his hoodie off to wrap it around his waist. Hopefully – really _hopefully_ – Yunho was pretty sure it never happened on stage. But the more time passed, the more he had to see San struggle with the fact of cooling down without doing anything about his problem. It had happened at night again, sometimes waking Yunho up like the first time, but San always brushed it off with a “It’ll go down, sorry, go back to sleep.” And Yunho had wondered just why San did not go to the bathroom to jerk off. Because he felt like the tension was becoming unbearable for San. It was becoming more frequent and Yunho was wondering if his roommate was not slowly losing his mind. San could not concentrate on anything for long, except – thank god – on stage where he seemed as normal as ever.

And when San is tired and frustrated, Yunho just feels like the younger boy tests his patience. This is where the situation had led them. San in his bed, whining because he cannot fall asleep and Yunho, dead tired because they have just performed for a few hours and he gave everything on stage. He would tell San it’s useless and come cuddle now, but he also knows that it would piss San off. San wants to try, so San tries. Except Yunho was right all along and San ends up in his bed, by his side, way too late for them to have a good night of sleep.

So when Yunho wakes up – once again – around three in the morning, he knows what to expect. Except that what he was expecting is not what is happening. San is, as he thought he would be, a shivering mess on his side, but strangely not exactly as he usually was. Yunho’s brain first registers the fact that San’s head is not resting on his arm but on his pec, so he can feel on the side of his thigh the bulge he usually feels on his hip.

But this time, San is either failing really bad at staying still or he completely does not care anymore. Yunho’s left leg is held tight between San’s owns and the younger boy is rutting against his thigh. Yunho’s leg twitches violently at the realisation and he swears the moan it elicited from San would have made him hard on the spot if his mind were not still hazy. And probably if it was not his friend. 

“San, are you awake?” he managed to ask with a heavy voice, his tone even lower than his usual one. Even though Yunho can say San should have heard what he just said, the younger jumps when he feels Yunho’s hand on his shoulder. San does not entirely stop moving but his pace falters. When his what-the-hell-is-happening eyes meet San’s, Yunho can make out that they younger is crying. Not sobbing, it is not loud, but tears are running down his face. Yunho also does not know if he is just imagining the darker tone of San’s skin, he just guesses it’s because of the blush created by the effort of his movements.

“I’m s—sorry, it…” And San claws at Yunho’s shirt in a vain attempt at grounding himself. His legs are now trembling around Yunho in an effort to stop the movement of his hips. “I tried, I really tried earlier, I s—swear but… everything is so d—different. It’s not h—home. I’m sorry Yuyu, I really tried to do something by myself but it—it does not feel right. I c—c—can’t…” And that’s when the sobbing intensifies. “I c—c—can’t stop, p—please make m—me stop, I’m so—sorry…”. But the moment Yunho tries to place his hands on San’s hips in order to soothe him and make his legs relax, he is met with a violent thrust against his thigh and a loud whine. “Oh my fucking god— I’m sorry I—”

“I’ve never seen you more tense, San.” Yunho mutters, trying to sound composed while is body begins to react to San’s and nope. Not going to happen. One problem was already enough. “Yunho, I b—beg of you, make me fucking s—stop.” But San is definitely not expecting Yunho’s hand to lift his chin so he could make proper eye contact. And it is his fucking chin, so _why on earth_ does San tremble like that? 

“Do you need to stop, or do you need a release?” Yunho continues before shocked San could answer him. “You know you can’t keep doing that, you’ll collapse before the end of the tour.” And San is speechless. He is so speechless all his movements stop while he stares dumbly at Yunho, almost waiting for him to tell him he is joking. Which would be so mean because San is still crying. Or well, he realises he is not anymore once he rubs his hand over his damp cheeks, the tears have stopped falling down. “What do you mean?” He asks in the tiniest voice possible, probably because his heart and body are still on edge and possibly because it is the last thing he thought Yunho would say.

“Like, please don’t think I’m trying to coax you into doing something or whatever—” Yunho slightly panics but calms down almost immediately when he sees San is just downright curious. “I don’t mean it in that way, and I don’t want to get off or anything but San, you’ve been pushing your luck lately. And I don’t want to explain Hongjoong your body gave up because I wouldn’t let you hump my leg one night.” And San chokes on air at these words. It makes Yunho giggles a little and San already feels better about the situation – Yunho is not acting as if San was the grossest human being like San felt he was moments ago. 

“And I mean, hump my leg or like, I can give you a handjob I guess but—yeah. Take it if you need it so bad.” These words have San shivering. He sincerely feels like he was not even conscious when he was rutting against Yunho’s leg, not able to stop or literally do anything. And even if he feels disgusting at the idea, he did that to his friend, it got him close. _So_ close. Closer than he managed to bring himself these past few weeks. The guilt San feels crawls up under his skin again and he feels like crying for the umpteenth time of the week.

“Sannie, you still with me?” San oh so faintly hears, and he realises Yunho is looking to make eye contact. “Anything wrong?” And San thinks that literally everything in that idea is so wrong. Humping his friend and roommate is so wrong, make Yunho feel so guilty if he does not accept that he even ends up being the one offering is _so fucking wrong_.

“I don’t want you to see me differently and act as if I was a wh—” But before San could finish, he feels Yunho’s fingers against his lips, his face now serious. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence. You’re not whatever you think you are.” Yunho slowly removes his hand. “And anyone would have done that for you Sannie, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Yunho does not even know if his words are the ones San needs, but when he feels the younger slightly relaxing against him once again, he has a sigh of relief. 

“Straighten up for a sec.” Yunho instructed. San pulls himself off of Yunho’s body as the taller boy places himself in a similar position as the night he had cradled San close. Except this time he straightens his legs and pulls his pillow behind his head. He does not sit upright because that would mean be face to face with San and he is not sure any of them wants that. He slumps down, his body not entirely resting on the mattress, so he can be a little bit more comfortable: the perfect mix between laid on the bed and sitting. When he goes to find San again, he sees the boy looks at him but stays very still, too still.

“Hey, you okay?” Yunho asks softly and he sees San slightly nod, eyes somehow unfocused. He holds out his hand to San. “Come here Sannie?” Yunho does his best not to make it look awkward because, as far as he understands, this is what San fears. San takes Yunho’s hand and the older pulls him towards himself ever so slowly, to let San back up or stop if anything feels wrong. Yunho spreads his legs just enough for San to straddle his left leg, but he cannot feel San’s weight. Or well, he can feel it, but he absolutely knows San is not that light. San try to readjust his shorts – the older can still see the fabric tenting – when Yunho asks “Sit?” He just answers with a _well, I am sitting_ and Yunho chuckles. “I know you’re light Sannie, but not featherweight, I can barely feel you. Are you sure it’s still alright?” He ends up asking when San barely moves.

Yunho reaches up with his other hand to take San’s who immediately clutches onto it. “I’m fine, I just…” Yunho hums silently to urge him to continue. “It’s weird I’m sorry.” San ends up mumbling. Yunho does his best to smile at him with his cute smile. The one that has San coo for minutes on end because he says Yunho never look so adorable and gorgeous. “It’s not weird if we don’t make it weird. And I will not make it weird.”. San gulps visibly and fuck does he love him. He just loves that Yunho is always so patient with him and not shaming him, trying to understand what happens before judging.

“Can I—” San stutters for a second. “Can you hold me just a moment?” And the next thing he knows, Yunho and his adorable smile just pulls him in an embrace. San lets himself be held in the reassuring frame of Yunho. He always jokes at how big his friend is, but he never admitted it was the most soothing thing for him when he was getting panicked. Even if Wooyoung had figured that out long ago when San needed constant reassurance and teased him to death, the little bastard. San can feel the erratic beating of his heart calming as Yunho strokes his hair kindly and he feels himself plop down onto Yunho’s thigh. “You okay?” The older asked softly, a hand running on his back in very soothing motions.

San nods, detaches himself a bit from Yunho’s embrace because he is not going to touch his friend that much. His friend who agreed to let him hump his thigh. Beautiful thigh if San may say. But he will never admit it out loud. San loves his own legs; they are slim and toned but Yunho’s are something else. Toned but so full, perfectly complimenting his height and his frame in general. And maybe San has something for this type of thighs – or just Yunho’s thighs – but it absolutely doesn’t mean he will ever accept this fact.

Yunho can feel the tension disappear for a while, and San gives an experimental thrust against his leg. It is fine and at the same time the fabric of San’s shorts rubbing on his thigh – that would definitely leave his skin irritated if San kept doing that for a long time – and catching onto his own shorts is not agreeable in the slightest. San winces on top of him. The boy has straightened up almost totally, only using the force of his legs and hips to move, his hands at his side. “Shit it kind of burns…” Yunho hears San mutter, and of course, if it’s burning his thigh, it must be unbearable against an erection. 

“Wanna take that off?” Yunho asks, and he knows the only thing that prevents San from yelling yes and not throwing him that what-are-you-saying glare is the fact the younger just overthinks the fact he will have his bare cock on his friend’s thigh. “If that’s what’s worrying you, I can just look at the ceiling… I can even sing you a song, your choice!” He says and San just has a moment before he chuckles, trying to keep the volume down because they were not alone in this hotel. “Gosh, please don’t do that” San says before climbing off of Yunho’s thigh and takes off his shorts before he gives it a second thought. He slightly panics when he sees Yunho reaching for his. “What are you–” and he doesn’t have the time to finish before he sees Yunho just making wide gestures. “I’m not taking it off, don’t worry! Just pulling the hem up so it doesn’t get in the way, right?” And sure thing, Yunho’s shorts are quite long just because once again Yunho is so fucking tall, and San would not like his dick to get tangled up in his friend’s shorts. Enough humiliation with his current situation.

San straddles Yunho again, sits down and takes what seems to him to be his loudest breath of the night. Fuck did he miss skin on skin contact. He absolutely hates himself for noticing how smooth and soft Yunho’s skin is under his and somehow feels like crying again.  
“You still don’t want me to sing you something?” Yunho smugly asks, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. San knows that somehow, Yunho just feels how tensed he is. Maybe he was looking at his face or something, San doesn’t really want to know. “Do that and go tell Hongjoong that my body gave up because you accepted to let me hump your leg, but you ruined it yourself.” San laughs quietly, shuffling just a bit to try and get a good angle. Hell, even though Yunho makes everything to make it not look weird, San feels like shit.

“No but like… more seriously, anything I could do to help? You feel tensed as hell San.” Yunho stops giggling but still keeps his eyes up. He feels the drag of San’s cock slowly rubbing on top of his thigh and he does not even know how he can tell San is still tense just thanks to that, but he does. He is about to repeat his question because he hears nothing until San’s left hand take his right one and squeezes hard. Yunho cannot help his smile when he squeezes back and intertwines their fingers. If the situation were not so peculiar, he would probably coo at San’s need for reassurance. Yunho holds back a hiss when San feels more confident and— fuck. Yunho is pretty aware his thighs are sensitive, not as if he had never explored that by himself before, but he only realises how problematic it would become for him soon enough.

And when San does not seem to be able to hold back his moans and whines anymore, Yunho knows he is pretty much screwed. He does his best to concentrate on San’s hand in his, on the ceiling and the strange patterns the moonlight created, on _anything_ but the friction on his leg. Or his fucking growing erection he wants to insult at that moment. Because San speeds up, Yunho can feel his hand trembling in his and hears how his breath becomes uneven. Except when he hears a sob, Yunho feels like his heart is failing him. “San, are you crying? I swear I’m not looking but what was—” but San cuts him “It’s not enough, why isn’t it…”

And well, Yunho is a good friend but his eyes fall on San’s face. The younger looks debauched, his entire face with his neck, down his collarbones blushing that he can see because of San’s loose shirt. There are no tears on his face and it immediately makes Yunho feel a tad better. San is so mad he cannot control his voice when he’s like that. He had not meant to worry Yunho, but the friction is just not enough, and it is _oh so_ frustrating. He tries to angle his hips downwards more but just ends up feeling as if someone was twisting his spine and wails because of the pain. He does not know how Yunho catches up so quickly but the next thing he knows, his friend urges him to scoot up a bit and San is not straddling his thigh anymore. 

Yunho moves and San barely contains a moan when he realises what his friend is doing. The taller boy resituates himself, facing San, sitting on his heels. That way, his thigh is angled up and San could whine again at the idea of the friction if may provide without hurting his back. And San is so desperate he just straddles Yunho’s thigh quickly and presses down hard. He feels Yunho’s legs spread a bit to accommodate and can hear more than he can feel Yunho’s heavy breathing.

“Hey, you okay?” San has to ask. “Just fine, don’t mind me. Go on with it.” And honestly San would have insisted if he didn’t need the friction so badly. He just feels like a horny teenager again. He begins rutting again and gets startled by his own high-pitched moan. Fuck, that is exactly what he needs. His back is perfectly fine, Yunho’s legs are long enough for San’s front not to be pressed against Yunho’s chest and the drag of his cock and balls on the skin feels delicious.

When Yunho had the idea of this position to help San, he hadn’t thought of the consequences. Especially the consequences including San’s knee closer to his crotch, the both of them generally closer to each other and the way he has to prevent himself from trembling because his thighs are _too fucking_ sensitive, and he even begins to hate that fact about himself. Not that San would notice if he let go and just trembles, because the boy is humping his thigh like there is no tomorrow. Yunho wonders for a second how desperate San must be when he feels him stop abruptly and slightly lose his balance. Yunho’s hands are on San’s waist for a second to help him stabilize and San does not know if he loves or hate the heat radiating from his friend’s hands spreading through his body, because it goes right to his crotch. He looks down to just realise that his waist is almost fucking _entirely_ engulfed in Yunho’s two hands and that makes him shiver.

San looks down and mutters. “Sorry, hard to keep balance with nothing to hold on and everything’s just so overwhelming.” Next thing he knows, Yunho takes his arms in his hands and places them on his shoulders. San eyes him. “Keep me at arm-length if you want but don’t tell me you have nothing to hold on, that’s a bit insulting” He chuckles, letting his hands drop on his sides. San is so glad he is blushing so much already because the way that makes him flush even more should be absolutely forbidden.

San resumes his activity and uses the two hands he has on Yunho’s neck as leverage. And okay, not to be dramatic because San hates to be dramatic — or not — but he feels like his soul could ascend. It had first been a bit dry because San didn’t use any lube, but the precum had done its job by slicking Yunho’s thigh and now San wonders how he is still not over the edge. Because his movements become erratic quickly, he can barely breathe correctly, and it is not as if Yunho makes anything to make him uncomfortable. The taller boy just keeps his hands on his side and his eyes are unfocused somewhere where San is not. If it weren’t for his breathing that had accelerated, San would really get scared at his friend’s silence.

San quickly becomes as overwhelmed as he had been before. Everything is too much but also not enough and the knot in his stomach is present but seems to be out of reach. Before he knows it, San feels a few tears running down his cheeks, pure frustration talking. He tries, he really tries hard, but it just won’t come. Or he just won’t cum, he doesn’t know at this point. He does not know what makes his brain short-circuit like it does, but he feels his hand on his dick, pressing down hard to chase more friction. And Yunho groans. Yunho groans loud and low, and San needs to do something because this gets to him way more than it should. And it is still not enough and if the situation were different, San would probably throw a tantrum at that point. And he breaks, because San does not have the will nor the patience to wait anymore and he cannot _not_ cum tonight.

“Please Yun’ do something, anything I beg of you, I don’t fucking care what, I trust you so much please—" San babbles, half-sobbing because he wishes he could make it easier. He just feels like he is taking advantage of Yunho’s generosity.

Yunho’s brain probably short-circuits at that too. He can help, he can do so many things. But what is okay with San, and what is okay with himself? Yunho quickly decides that as long as the younger does not outright asks him to take his cock in his hand, he will not do that. He is left with a few options and decides to do what makes him feel good when he has enough time and privacy to masturbate. It is double or nothing, and he just hopes this won’t literally prevent his friend from finding his release. 

  
When Yunho places his hands on San’s waist again, the younger’s hips stutter and he moans louder than Yunho had ever heard him. He then slowly let his hands follow the curve of his hips to reach the junction between San’s hips and legs. For a moment, he thinks only doing that could work because San seems to lose his mind over him. But he just goes for it. Following San’s hips rolling, Yunho places his hands on the boy’s inner thighs, so close to his cock but not touching it, and slightly digs his nails into the flesh, scratching.

“Oh fuck— yes Yunho, please, don’t stop— don’t— _fuck_ —” And if Yunho had thought San was losing it before, he definitely is now. San’s pace falters and Yunho realises that his own hands are trembling because San’s legs are violently quivering under his touch. Yunho winces just a bit with how his thigh feels absolutely soaked in precum. Yunho takes a second to wonder how San hasn’t cum yet if his body literally is aching for it. And he just thinks they might have another little problem incoming because San is getting _fucking loud_. Not as if Yunho had never heard his friend busting a nut, San was definitely not as discreet as he thought he was in his bunk. But this. San’s loud moans, “yes please” and other pleas would make the staff of the hotel destroy the door to tell them to shut up immediately. Or well, tell San because Yunho has enough self-control, thank you very much.

This is the highest-pitched and loudest whine San does when Yunho digs his nails a bit more than has the taller boy raise his right hand to place it over San’s mouth. As affected as Yunho is by the situation, he cannot help the soft laugh when he says, “You really want to wake up everyone now?” He is about to remove his hand when he sees how wide San’s eyes are. He is about to ask if he did anything wrong when he feels San’s hand clutch at his wrist. “Your hands, fuck Yunho your hands—” and before Yunho can do something, San brings the tip of two of his fingers into his mouth and sucks hard on it. Yunho is captivated, cannot bring himself to look away and at the same time he feels like San is slipping away. And he feels himself slip away too, he is now rock hard in his shorts and somehow his brain is not functioning correctly anymore. 

He tries to bring himself back to himself — hell, is that even supposed to happen — by backing off a bit to let remove his fingers from his friend’s mouth who now begins to _bite_ on them. But the second he manages, San wails loudly and more tears fall down his face. The tears never seem to stop. 

“No pl— please it feels too good please g—give it back—“. Before Yunho can answer, San shoves the same two fingers he previously had in his mouth back in and _oh god_ Yunho can feel their tip hitting the back of San’s throat. San gags and begins to cough violently, stopping all of his movements. Tears still flow down his face when Yunho cups his head with both of his hands. He doesn’t have the time to talk before San bawls. “Please don’t take them a—away I’ll be good I swear, they feel so good p—please…” And Yunho could forget he has his friend with his dick rubbing on his thigh because the view or San breaking down makes his heart shatter. San leans forward just a bit for his head to rest in the crook of Yunho’s neck. 

Yunho’s hands are still on his face, his arms now bent in an awkward angle. “San. Sannie, okay.” He does not even have to force the boy to lift his head so their eyes could meet. San’s eyes were shining. “Okay, I’ll let you, but you listen to me, right?” San nodded quickly. “I’ll tell you what you can take, no more than that, okay? Also, nibbling is okay, try just not to bite down hard. You good with that?” Now Yunho kind of understands why everyone always tell him he would do anything for his friends. Yes, he would. “Okay, okay I got it thank you, thank you—“.

Yunho briefly pushes San’s hips back so the younger boy could be in the same position he was before. He then slowly carefully pushes a bit more than one knuckle of two of his fingers into San’s mouth who immediately suckles on them. San does not try to move and seems pretty involved in his new activity. “You can go on, Sannie.” Yunho urges him, slightly pushing his hips down. Not to lie, Yunho is getting pretty tired, his body is way too horny regarding what is happening, and he just hopes it will not take them the rest of the night. He wishes he would not have to think about this right now but the thought of getting scolded because of a lack of attention due to their lack of sleep is still in his mind.

Then he feels San going back at it and either the younger does not care at all or he is way too gone to mind, but as he goes up his thigh, his leg rubs against Yunho’s erection and it becomes difficult for Yunho to keep his hips still. Yes, he has self-control. But mind you, he still is a young horny adult. A young horny adult who currently has his friend humping his thigh higher so he can get more friction on the most sensitive part of Yunho’s thigh and same boy still has two of his fingers deep in his mouth, sucking on them like there is no tomorrow. Yunho would rather think that neither his own erection or his fingers are the cause of San’s deep moans because if it turns out they are, he will probably lose his mind and sanity. 

The hand Yunho was keeping on San’s hip falls on his inner thigh, and he continues to do what he was going earlier. Digging, scratching lightly oh so near to his crotch, creating little red marks that would not stay for long. San has his eyes rolling, lets his jaw drop and manages to mutter around Yunho’s fingers. “Please Yuyu, so good, so so so fucking good—“. Yunho is not sure what he is talking about, so he presses on San’s tongue, eliciting a moan, and digs his nails a bit more in his thigh, causing San to jump and rut more aggressively. And fuck, at this point, San’s thigh was practically hitting his dick at every thrust of the younger. That is not helping Yunho’s case.

  
Yunho understands something is on when San’s teeth begin to nibble a bit harder — but hopefully not bite — his fingers and the flow of tears rolling down his chin intensified. He releases part of the tension he had put on San’s tongue. “Yu—Yu—Yuyu, gonna cum, please I need to cum I can’t hold it please— _please_ don’t stop—” And if San were not his friend, Yunho would probably think this is the sexiest thing he has ever heard in his short life. Ow well, maybe it is after all. Yunho bites his bottom lip hard when he feels San hump against the higher part of his thigh only, so San’s leg is literally constantly rubbing on Yunho’s dick. 

Yunho feels San’s arms quivering around his neck, the younger boy unconsciously leaning towards him, and feels the legs surrounding his thigh trembling too. The hand which is not in San’s mouth finds its way around his waist quickly before going back to his inner thigh, making San jump, pulling him a bit closer. “You’re okay, let go, I’m not stopping.” He whispers reassuringly against the shell of his ear, provoking a strong shiver.

San’s moans become high-pitched and loud again. “Yu— cumming, I’m cumming—“. And the only thing that Yunho does which adds up to the situation is leaving light butterfly kisses on his friend’s neck. “Cum Sannie, it’s alright.” 

Just like that, Yunho feels a strong pressure on abdomen before he feels the thick ropes of cum landing on his tummy and San’s legs giving in. He lets San ride his high before looking down, seeing that the younger had taken a handful of his shirt to lift it up, so his shirt was totally neat, but San’s was not. To not ruin his friend’s effort — how did he manage to think about this at all? — Yunho slowly took off his shirt. San slumps down on his and mumbles something Yunho cannot hear.

“What was that?”

“I said ‘m sorry for r— _fuck wait that’s sensitive_ — ruining your shorts.” San half-hissed because Yunho had moved a bit and San’s cock against it had become way too sensitive for any kind of friction. And San feels so sated he thinks he will not want to jerk off at least for the next month. His mind is pure bliss until he feels Yunho’s hand rubbing on his shirt and— wait a second, is he removing the saliva coating his fingers on his shirt? “Ugh, disgusting…” San mutters and Yunho just laughs. “That’s yours, not mine. You drool in your sleep anyway.” And San tries to give him his best offended look from where he stands but with his soft cock on his friend’s thigh and his whole-body shivering because he needs to lay down somewhere, he feels like he is not really convincing.

“Okay, get off, I need to get a towel.” Yunho says and moves to stand up but San stays on him and this time, really has an offended look. “What about my cuddles?” And   
Yunho has to stop himself from snickering. “San, are you asking me for after-sex cuddles when we didn’t even have sex?” San pouts at him and Yunho is quick to give in. 

“Okay, okay, just let me get a towel because I won’t have your cum drying on my stomach. Also give me your shirt, it’s stained.” Sure enough, San had the mind to lift his friend’s shirt not to get it dirty but did nothing about his. San winces at that thought, takes it off and hands it to Yunho who goes to the bathroom. 

San plops down on Yunho’s bed, realising what happened. Before he is able to overthink it, Yunho comes back in with San’s shirt and his own shorts in his hands, lying them on the desk provided in their bedroom. It’s probably for them to dry, San thinks.

“Your boxers, you want to sleep in them or another pair?” And San remembers that he was leaking so much from the damn beginning. “Yeah no, others… they are in the side pocket, the right one.” He tells Yunho when the older motions to get to San’s bag. “Can you take the blue ones?” Yunho stops his movements and eyes him. “Are you asking me for a specific pair of boxers when it’s almost four in the morning San?” San just answers. “Yes, I am” And Yunho bets San can hear his _are you fucking serious_ while he rumbles, rummaging through San’s colourful collection of underwear. Once he finds it, he tosses it at San, utters out a “Now, sleep!” and expects a reaction but he is met with silence.

“Sannie?” He asks, going back to his bed to find San rolled up into a ball.

“What did I do Yunho? What did I make you do? I’m fucking disgusting” And there was the high-pitched voice typical of San crying. Before he knows, Yunho almost jumps on his bed and wraps his arm around San.

“No, hey, you did not make me do anything. I offered, remember? And you’re not disgusting, I am not disgusted. You still want to cuddle?” When San relaxes a bit, Yunho just spins him around and holds him close. 

“I saw it Yu…” San mutters, his sobs finally decreasing.

“What did you see?

“You were hard. And you did nothing about it. You just took care of me and helped me and reassured me and I was only thinking about myself and—"

“You were not in a state to think about anything else Sannie. And I was not neither. I told you before, I didn’t want to get off.”

They fall silent for a moment and Yunho is dozing off when he hears San say in his pouting voice “Well, I at least owe you a handjob or something.” Yunho chokes on air. 

“You don’t owe me anything, what are you talking ab— NO, do _not_ answer that!” He quickly rectifies, seeing that San seems pretty happy of what he just did.

“Aw come on Yuyu, just admit you find me sexy.” And if Yunho didn’t know San as much as he did, he would say his friend had just acted up before.

“How in the hell does your behaviour change so quic— no, don’t answer that neither. Go to sleep.” Yunho’s fake annoyed tone makes San giggles, and this is probably the closest to “normal” they have been all night. Yunho feels himself falling asleep and startles when he hears San talking again.

“What if it wasn’t enough and I collapse though?” He asks, half smug. Gosh Yunho hates him. He would do anything for him, but he hates him.

“Then I’m definitely telling Hongjoong I did let you hump my fucking thigh because he’s not blaming me for that. Now I swear to god Choi San if you don’t intend to fall asleep, I’m depriving you of your cuddles.”

San chuckles once again but doesn’t answer. He just scoots closer to Yunho, lets the bigger one enclose him in his frame, kisses the base of his neck just because, and falls asleep.

Maybe San still keeps the teddy in the end.

And maybe, just _maybe_ , San offers this handjob to Yunho before the end of the tour.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand there it is, hope you liked it!  
> If you think I missed a tag or anything, don't hesitate to tell me!  
> I would gladly like to hear what you think about it but overall, just hope you enjoyed your stay!


End file.
